Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
