420 ftw
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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