I'm jealous of your bromance
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize