I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My vagina just clenched in fear
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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