We're like a lot better than the average bears
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
this beer tastes like vomit already
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
