I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
There's a naked man in my car right now.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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