He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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