I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
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We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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