I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
