o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
