i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
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I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
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