I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
