So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
