Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just want to make out with him forever
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
