3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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