therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
