...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
