I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
