So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
