Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
