wanna go halves on a baby?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
