So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
