Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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