We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
zippers are such a cool invention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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