NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
they call him Oral-B. enough said
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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