I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
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