HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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