Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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