Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
