i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Randomize
