Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
