The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
