I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
