There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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