Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
