Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
He shit in the fireplace
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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