She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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