I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
