Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize