To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
