There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
