theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
