ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
