It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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