Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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