she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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