***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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