If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
