he wants to bone in the snuggie
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
