Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
