I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
