fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I party with great urgency now.
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