butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
