you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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