Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Randomize
