weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
