Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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