Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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