isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
