Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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