I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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