Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
