sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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