fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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