Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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