i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
