C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Randomize
