I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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