I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
