im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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