I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
